One's Foolish Pride
by Mistress Slytherin
Summary: Light has haunting dreams, ones that involve retribution for the crimes he has committed as Kira. What will he do?  Light/L


**Kay, so i was actually trying to work on another story when this entered my mind. It felt colourful and wouldn't let me go until i put it into words. I was actually reading the Death Note manga and that line where Light says he'll "give up" his foolish pride seemed to create this darn story. And so it was born, a one-shot between Light and L that in the end i found myself quite proud of. Anyway i hope you all like it!**

**MALE MALE RELATIONSHIPS!**

**CONTAINS SEXUAL SCENES!**

**NOT FOR THE EYES OF CHILDREN!**

**NONE OF THE CHARACTERS ARE MINE!**

**REVIEW PLEASE!**

**Mistress Slytherin**

Cold fingers slid across his hot skin. He couldn't breath, and when he could all that came out were harsh gasping breaths that reverberated through the room. He couldn't see, the black silk stretching snugly across his eyes prevented him from doing so. He couldn't move- save to arch into that cold touch hips arching upwards wantonly neck bared in submission in a way that he hated, loved, desired and feared at the same time. Yet as his legs slid up seeking contact, any contact his arms straining against the creaking leather ties that held his wrists captive he found that he wouldn't have wanted this any other way.

"Kira…" Cold breaths like the ones made when eating ice cream whispered across the skin of his neck and the icy tip of a tongue slid expertly into the contours of his ear. He gasped his skin becoming even more heated as the shell of his ear was enveloped and nibbled on cold hands sliding down possessively over his ribcage.

"Please…" He found himself whispering only to have a tongue slip passed his lips rough, demanding, mine, yours, yours, mine! He whimpered as the chilled lips claimed his lips firmly the tongue delving deeply as sharp nails were dragged slowly and harshly down his caramel skin. A hand slid down his thigh pushing the black sheets that provided a little modestly away from him baring him to the warm air and frigid touch. He tossed his head back unaware of anything for a moment as a single digit slid over his opening and traced around it teasing him causing gooseflesh to rise all over him.

"You want this…my Kira…hmph…" A sound escaped his lips as the finger moved away a nail slowly scraping across the underside of his erection causing him to strain upwards as the pleasure demanded him to. "My debouched little god…my Kira…Look at you…so willing, so powerless…and you love it…every moment of it." His lips parted in a half gasp half scream as the nail dug into the slit at the tip.

"Yes!" He hissed as long fingers wrapped around him the cold hot contrast shocking his system into overdrive. His torturer looked on with a growing smile as his head tossed from side to side hair splayed all about him as his swollen lips opened to allow easier breathing. Creamy thighs sought him out moving desperately to find contact. Suddenly the hand moved away and Light was left completely, the presence was gone and panic seized him causing him to struggle with his bonds and desperately call out for his lover.

"L! L please!" He whimpered as he felt the hole in his chest grow. "Please…" He begged brokenly.

"Do you submit?" Light felt his entire body shudder in response to the words.

"Yes." He said in relief that he had not been abandoned.

"Spread your legs wider." Came the whispered voice. Light obeyed a blush staining his cheeks as he was made bare. Cold, slick, wet goooood…a finger slipped into his heat and he clenched around it in pleasure. He jerked and groaned as it slipped back out and in again in, out, in, out a slow torture that had him trembling in just moments. "Beg me." Came the demand the tenor voice deeper and rougher with desire.

"P-Please!" He nearly cried spreading his legs wider.

"Please what Kira?" The voice insisted making his lips tremble with unspoken plea.

"Please…Please L…" A low growl filled the room and long fingers wrapped around his jaw forcing him to turn his head to the side as the single digit thrust faster and harder causing his toes to curl.

"Say it Kira, I want to hear those dirty words spilling from your lips. Tell me what you want!" Light shivered in shame but the finger brushed against his prostate and he knew he was lost.

"Please! Another finger!" He begged softly.

"Hmmmm, doing what?" The voice demanded. Light wanted to get away but he knew that even if he had the chance he wouldn't go anywhere. This was where he belonged.

"Thrusting." He whimpered.

"Hmmm?" Came the response the finger inside of him stilling completely.

"Thrusting into me?" He begged hoping that it was enough. He sighed as a second finger slipped past the ring of muscle and shivered at the sensation of being stretched slightly.

"Why Kira?" The voice whispered oh so close to his ear. "Why am I using my fingers? What is it you really want?" Light felt that he would have come had it not been for the strip of leather wound around his erection preventing him from coming.

"You…" He pleaded feeling the hot tears that were beginning to form in his eyes. "Inside me…I want…I want!...You! Please, please, please!" He struggled in vain to push down on the fingers that continued to move in a slow leisurely pace.

"Say it Kira…you know I can make it so good for you…but you have to say it…I have to hear this words spilling from your lips…to make you understand…to make you fully understand what it means to give up your pride." Light sobbed quietly as he was tortured his teeth digging into his bottom lip as he whimpered against the fingers. Slowly another finger entered him the pace too slow and too gentle as it opened him. He could feel the tears slipping out from under the blindfold, could feel as the cold tongue lapped them away.

"I-I want your cock…"He nearly whispered his heart aching and expanding in his heart. "I n-need it, need you…inside me…please L! Please I can't! I can't!" He gasped writhing around against his bonds.

"Shhhhhh." A cool firm body settled beside his and a hand absently stroked his hair. "You're doing so well Light-kun, so well." A cool nose nuzzled his cheek and the fingers slipped away leaving him twitching and wanting as the hands slid up his thighs pushing them higher until they were situated over strong shoulders.

"Ready Kira?" A voice asked gently. "Are you ready?" Light nodded his head.

"Do what you want." He said softly his hands gripping the leather restraints. Full. Dull pain, hot, hot, so hot, pleasure, inside…so very far inside, tearing him to pieces, shredding his dignity- his voice betraying his pride. Out, an empty feeling that would have swallowed him whole had it not been filled just as rapidly, as surely as before. Arms holding him teeth tasting him drawing blood confusing pleasure with pain. Screams…his?...no…yes!...pleasure, heat, knowledge, intensity, broken re-born, claimed!

"Yes Kira…make those noises for me…cry out to the world that you are mine…" Guilt, broken pride, understanding, pleasure…Why!...gods yes! Heat rose as his chest fell hands roamed as bruises and bites cut and bled, yet he couldn't stop it, it was so good. He wanted for nothing, hated and loved everything, as long as L was there…as long as L was there! There! There! Pleasure, building growing impossible! So big…BLISS…Blisss…absolute and utter _bliss_…a taste of heaven before once again the light is drained from him and he is left to be reminded that he is Kira…angel, demon, murderer and Justice. He is Kira who begs to be fucked every time and nothing can change his mind, he is Kira…Kira…Kira…Beep! His eyes shoot open. The alarm clock is screaming at him. He is alone. L is dead…and he is Kira…alone…Kira who killed his only saving grace…L…Slowly he stands turning off the accusing beep and dressing without thought. Faces pass him and once again he is lost in the unimportance of it all. Faces he didn't know, faces he could care less about- not when the only face he could possibly want to see again was the one he would never see again. He doesn't buy flowers, no- flowers would be inappropriate. Instead he buys something that he never thought he would willingly buy and makes his way towards the grassy slopes marred with obsidian squares. Empty…Silence…hurt…agony…_guilt._ He is Kira and he has come to realize that without L, that means nothing. _He_ means nothing. Slowly he drops to his knees and places the pink pastry box beside the headstone. L. Lawiett stands out anonymous because no one knew what this man had done; no one knew that this man had kept them safe from the shadows enduring harsh words and cruel intentions as he sorted through the depravity of the world. No one knew except him and a precious few others. Kira seemed so hollow to him now as he was faced with the reality of unforgiving earth and stone. Kira was nothing more than a name, a boy with foolish dreams who pushed forwards unthinkingly and destroyed everything he held dear to save himself from his own guilt and self-loathing. Death held no fear for him now, but it was too late. It was his own fear of death that had put his only friend in the grave, it was his lack of fear that caused him to regret.

"You can bring him back you know." Ryuuk says behind him, he thinks that the Shinigami must be getting bored to give him this information.

"How?" He whispers half heartedly his fingers tracing the letters on the stone.

"Become a shinigami." Was the answer. He felt himself frowning as he looked at the creature.

"How?" He asked his heart clenching painfully.

"Write your own name in the death note." Light tilted his head to the side.

"But won't that-" Ryuuk grinned and understanding dawned upon him. "It was a trick to keep people from actually doing it…" The shinigami nodded his head and suspicion filled him.

"Why are you telling me this?" He asked softly his eyes dead. The shinigami laughed long and hard.

"You entertained me better than any human before you and your boring when heart broken." Light smiled wryly.

"But once I'm a shinigami how will I bring him back? They've buried him already." Ryuuk tilted his head to the side in thought.

"Well he will probably appear where he died; all you have to do is erase his name." Light tilted his head to the side.

"And I can't do this as a human?" Ryuuk laughed again.

"You are worried about you're looks aren't you?" He said shaking his head. "Nah we shinigami take on whatever form we want to, see if I wanted red hair all I'd have to do is think it. You can keep your uncool human body if that's what you want!" Light nodded.

"I'll do it." He said softly. "To bring back L…I'll give up my foolish pride." He whispered tears leaking from his eyes as he stood.

Cold, his skin was cold to the touch. Light had watched as L seemed to materialize before him as messy and beautiful as ever. His own body along with a letter and the death note was strewn out across the floor heart stopped. Yet as he took a step forward he realized that he was just the same as he had been while alive. He watched with bated breath as L's long eyelashes fluttered the black stark against the paleness of his skin. Large eyes slowly opened confusion filling them. A hand reached up and clutched a thin chest where Light knew a heart was still, unbeating. Eyes were suddenly wide as the thin body shot up into a sitting position gaze wild as it flickered around the room until it landed on his own body. A shaky hand reached out and pushed a stray lock of hair away, long pale fingers lifted the letter delicately and Light found himself smiling bitterly at the widened eyes and tightened jaw. As he had expected a hand shot out and grabbed the death note making him visible to the undead detective.

"Hello L" He said making the young man turn quickly his eyes wide before narrowing.

"Kira." The voice accused. Light smiled and tilted his head.

"Yup." He agreed. Confusion and pain warred behind those eyes.

"What- how…why?" Light found himself smiling.

"You died." He said softly. "I killed you, but then it was too easy, no one cared…I…"He turned his head to the side in shame. "I missed you." He said brokenly. "So I gave up Kira gave up everything, and brought you back." He said still unable to look the man in the eye. "I don't expect you to forgive me, in fact I expect you to hate me, you who sacrificed so many hours to defeat criminals that I so carelessly and easily killed. You wore the weight of this worlds' horror on your shoulders, and I callously made nothing of it. I watched you try to hide the bitterness left in your mouth with sweets but didn't see until you died just how bitter the aftertaste would be. I watched you cradle yourself your knees pulled to your chest as you struggled to protect yourself from the cruelty that surrounded you, and all I did was make light of your suffering. You do not sleep because you are afraid of what you will see when your eyes fall shut, and so am I L…because ever since you died all I could see was you. I was not worthy to hold such power so I'm giving it to you." L's eyes were wide as his mind worked to understand him. Light knew that there were most likely hundreds of scenarios racing through the messy haired detectives mind. Suddenly though they seemed to come to a stop.

"You are dead then?" L asked looking at Lights' body sprawled out on the floor.

"I am a shinigami." Fear filled the man's eyes and Light managed a sigh.

"Don't worry I can't do anything. As long as you hold the note book I must follow you and I cannot take it back." L nodded and once again raised his hand to his chest.

"I am dead." He said with a slight pout. Light smiled.

"Yes." He agreed. L frowned deeply.

"Does that mean I will not die?" he asked. Light nodded.

"When you choose to go then I will tell you how to become a shinigami, otherwise you will end up in a place that is neither heaven nor hell." L tilted his head to the side thoughtfully.

"You assume that I want to be stuck with you for the rest of my days Light-kun." He said his voice monotone. Light felt panic fill him causing him to reach forward.

"Don't go…" He pleaded softly pulling his hand back as he watched the man flinch away. Light looked away then his face twisted with anguish. "You can torture me if you like." He said slowly unable to meet the skeptical gaze. "You can torture me for all eternity for what I've done if that's what you want." He nearly begged. "Just…don't leave me again…" Silence was what greeted him and he felt a familiar agony race through him owning him. Suddenly the death note was thrust into his face and cold eyes were looking at him.

"You brought me back; I am assuming that means you can also bring back Watari." Light blinked at the note book and nodded. "Then do so." He ordered. Light hesitated before taking the book and erasing Watari's name. L snatched the book back with narrowed eyes before striding across the room and turning on his computer. The screen flickered as it booted up and Light watched as Watari's bewildered face came to focus.

"Watari bring me some cake please." L requested causing the man to blink.

"L?" The man said blinking rapidly. "What-"

"We died." L said a small smile on his lips. "Raito-kun killed us and then brought us back- he was Kira." Watari blinked.

"Well I never." He said breathlessly. "That was rude." Light tilted his head to the side in wonderment as the man shook his head. "And now? Where is he?" L glanced up at him before returning his gaze to the computer.

"Dead." He said frankly. Watari sighed.

"Very well then, I'll be up shortly." L nodded and the window disappeared off the screen. Light rubbed is arm absently and startled as L's chair suddenly spun around to face him eyes cold.

"Kira." He demanded his tone frosty. Light winced at the name and blinked when the man stood and moved towards him his cold hand reaching up to grasp his chin forcing him forwards until lips closed over his claiming them. "It's time for me to make your worst nightmares a reality…Kira." Light shivered and leaned into the cold touch.

"Yes." He whispered.

"I will break you of your pride." The detective whispered coldly.

"Yes." Light agreed his knees trembling as lips whispered across the shell of one ear before pulling away completely as L strode back to his chair and began to pull up various files. Light shivered and moved towards the man kneeling on the floor beside him laying his head against the man's thigh. The typing paused for an instant before resuming as Watari entered bringing a tray filled with various desserts sparing Light's body nothing more than a cursory glance as he poured tea. Light sighed in contentment feeling at ease for the first time since he'd found the death note.

"Light-kun take a look at this…three bodies found mutilated in Berlin all of them with what looks to be a Bible verse carved into their chests six weeks later another three bodies were found in Moscow in the same state…" Light blinked and smiled thinly as he stood and read the file over L's shoulder, yes- he was truly at peace now.


End file.
